Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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