drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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