I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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