I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize