I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
