god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
