The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
