So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
