My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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