it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
