When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My hand turned me down
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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