If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize