Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
