hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
even my farts smell like vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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