Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
