brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
