Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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