Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
