i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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