? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
