then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
