I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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