Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
