you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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