It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
