The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
