DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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