we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize