Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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