Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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