Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
