he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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