Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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