I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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