btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
