My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
