um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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