sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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