Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
