When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
