did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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