If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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