Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
