On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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