If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
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