Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
