chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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