My first STD was from a foam party
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
