In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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