we're blogging at a bar
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
