Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize