carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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