Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
