someone get that fucking seahorse.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
