Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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