I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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