i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
