Kareoke will never be a sober sport
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
