Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I need moral support for this bender
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
