his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
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