i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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