i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
