i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Found the puke drawer
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
